Two and a half years ago, somewhere over the Great Barrier Reef, Mike and I met a young British man who left his home in the hamlet of Cheddar to travel around the world. We listened as he animatedly told us about his experience obtaining his SCUBA certification in Malaysia, and then of upcoming destinations he was eager to explore. He was excited about life, and we were excited for him.
Though we asked questions and supported his trip, traveling around the world wasn’t something Mike and I wanted for our lives at that time — it wasn’t even on our radar. We’ve always loved to travel, but couldn’t imagine the life of a vagabond as our own. Even so, we didn’t criticize the young man’s dream and current adventure.
Tara & Mike are on the far right side. The young British man, by Tara, is wearing a green shirt.
A year and a half after that experience, our own lives took a turn in the same direction as the young Brit’s. For the last year, we have been planning our round-the-world (RTW) trip and slowly telling family, friends and coworkers about it. Mike and I are lucky that those nearest and dearest to us have been supportive. But we have, unfortunately, come across some negative energy.
The RTW backpacker’s biggest pre-departure pet peeves, from what I can gather from the numerous blog posts I’ve read, are: 1) people whose reaction to the trip is some form of “aren’t you lucky” and 2) people who are unsupportive due to jealousy or a lack of empathy.
Mike and I have certainly received the “you’re lucky, did you win the lottery?” response. I don’t get offended because it’s mostly a good-natured reaction that is accompanied by genuine excitement for us. But sometimes the “you’re lucky” is said with the implication that the person can just pick up and go without any consequences. This is an incorrect assumption, and I completely empathize with the frustration it causes, because the trip isn’t happening by chance, but through preparation and hard work. The speaker simply isn’t aware of the sacrifices made to get to this point.
When someone says to us, “aren’t you lucky” or “that must be nice,” what we actually hear is, “wouldn’t it be nice to not have bills, debt, obligations and the luxury to leave your job to travel around the world.” Actually, we do have bills, obligations, job security, etc. Arranging a trip like this has more to do with desire, self-control, rearranging priorities and just making it happen. You have one life, and if you’re always making excuses for why you can’t do something, that’s your fault and not mine. I’m not lucky, I’m proactive.
Now, onto the snippy side comments a soon-to-be-RTWer receives. Remember how I said we made sacrifices to get to this point? Sacrifices like leaving behind job security, selling possessions we’ve made memories with and not being able to see family and friends nor spend holidays with them for a year. Oh, and all that money we’ve saved for the trip? It’s not going to buy us a house either. These are some serious things we’re giving up.
You can imagine our frustration when someone says, “Wow, I can’t believe you guys are selling your things and traveling around the world. That would be cool… for about a week.” I’m quite aware that the life of a nomad is neither appealing to nor a good fit for everyone. That’s fine. You are most definitely entitled to that feeling. What you shouldn’t do is belittle something that someone else is excited for and giving up almost everything to do.
Like our reaction to the young Brit’s journey, accept that everyone adopts a different lifestyle and has dreams that might not align with yours. And when you don’t understand, just ask questions. At the very least, you will have made an attempt to broaden your mind.
-RANT OVER-
Go for it guys! Don’t worry about others. 🙂 If it’s your dream and everyone is against you – so be it.. you’re living your life for you… not for them!
Thanks T1 🙂
Well said. It’s like someone who loves travel saying “Wow I can’t believe you’ve tied down to a mortgage, a 9 to 5 job and 20 days holiday a year, that’s not for me!” Everyone has their own ideas of what makes a good life, and you’ve got to get out there and find your own. Happy travelling!
Good point. I like that. Goodbye 20 holiday days!
How about people living bye the phrase”If you can’t say something nice then shut your trap” I know myself this has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I have a coworker who has taught me (I’m a work inprogress) on the art of being humble. So with much humbleness I say “Way to go!!! and I look forward to traveling with you through your blogs”
Thank you Madonna 🙂 You’ve always been super supportive.
I love this post, I’ve been ranting over the last few weeks that if one more person tells me I’m lucky!!! Certain people don’t seem to realise that it’s a very brave decision to leave everything and the amount and time and energy you put into saving money is really difficult. Don’t listen to any negativity, those who love you will be behind your decision 100%!
lol yea, I’ve seen a lot of bloggers rant, and totally feel your pain. If only everyone was made aware of the sacrifices, time and energy — and of course the courage!
Only POSITIVE responses from me on this! Cheers!
Thanks Raul!
Thanks man!
Great post guys, we’ve had almost all positive experiences so nothing as bad as you guys! We’ve been living by the motto ‘Seek forgiveness, not permission’ for a couple of years now and its made a big difference to how we go about our lives and planning for our round the world trip!
Looks like you’re leaving almost the same time as us, will look forward to how you guys get on!
Love that motto. Looking forward to following your journey as well!
Great points in this post. We have not received flat out negative feedback regarding our trip yet but it has ranged from sheer shock and not knowing how to respond at all to people telling us how jealous/envious they are. The whole jealous/envious point of view gets annoying though because as you point out here it’s not like other people couldn’t rearrange their priorities and take the exact trip we’re taking if they really wanted to.
I agree. People might list out their anchors, and I totally understand that those are huge obstacles. But if you really wanted to change your course, you could. And there are plenty of people out there who are traveling with kids, pets, etc. Truly amazing.
I hope you guys don’t encounter any negativity!